Now for what has really been going on in my life, unsure of where to begin… I so would love to keep it in chronicle order but I do think my mind well allow for me to do so, basically because it is still stuck in yesterday (bad place for it to be). It was about 10 am I received a phone call from my ex, in my mind I knew it wasn’t going to be good. Only because the only times she calls is when she is either severely depressed, she just met someone new (a sick game she likes to play) and/or just relapsed on her gambling addiction. Well this time is wasn’t any of those (kind of), she asked me to be completely honest and disclose her faults. My mind was like right fucking on, I can finally dump this shit I had been harvesting for years, that was until my true nature took over and knew that wouldn’t be fair to either one of us… So I reluctantly chose to do the later, during a 4-hour phone conversation I tactfully shared with her the things I had seen, observed and experienced.
Yes, I also had found it to be a prime time to share my faults, shortcomings, and issues (trust, abandonment, etc.). Nonetheless what I had thought was going to be another draining phone conversation had actually turned into a major blessing. I can now completely let her go without any reservations. The fire within can now finally begin to smolder.
Coincidental or another blessing? Still haven’t determined, just as I was checking my email before departing to the lake. A long lost friend signed onto yahoo (she never signs on visible), even though our conversation was very brief. It left me with the reinsurance that things in my life may finally once again fall back into place (that is if I am able to just stay the fuck out of the way and not place any expectations upon anything).
1 comment:
Yes, it had been while since I've updated... been terribly busy and that time managent thing.. :-S Thank you for noticing that I am back... *Hugs*
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