Delayed Post of Yesterweek

Thursday morning I went for another job interview for a very known and respectable company. The interview went so well they hired me right then and asked for me to start that afternoon. Yes, I’ll be working what they consider swing shift; the hours are actually 1pm –9:30pm, which in so many ways is ideal for me (no worries of waking up in time, having the morning hours for myself, getting off work just when the night life is truly kicking off, and most of all no more scrapping the morning frost off my windshield). Needless to say, but will anyways, I am once again very content and happy. It’s amazing how much the little fact of being employed can do for your spirits and self worth.

Alright, time to be honest here. This isn’t my dream job, but it’ll enable me to survive, and the time to get my true dreams off those back burners. Which at this time, I’m not ready to disclose. It has to do with one of the Seven Spiritual Laws, written by Deepak Chopra , and my interpretation of it. Basically, for myself, I strongly believe thoughts are things… If I think of something and dwell upon those thoughts and keep them to myself (very similar to Prayers), they will and have begun to grow. It doesn’t matter if they are positive or negative thoughts they will happen… Here is an example (can’t recall where I learned this one, possibly it was in that book), Have you ever been driving along and glanced in the rearview mirror, only to notice a police officer directly behind you? Without a second thought you begin to make sure you are doing the speed limit, seat belts are buckled, hands are on the steering wheel, everything checks out and you are legal but your still thinking, dwelling and knowing (without saying anything) you are going to get pulled over. Sure enough, the next time you glace in the mirror, the blue lights are flashing and you are getting pulled over… Just with that example I am able to see so many other situations that had unfolded before my eyes just as I had thought them too. Well, that power holds the same strength on the good dreams… And if I had chosen to share, the likely hood for them to flourish is much more unlikely, for a couple of reason. One, being an ACOA (Adult Child Of an Alcoholic) I tend to look more for the, “atta boys”, “great idea”, and/or simply the pat on the back for coming up with such a brilliant idea. Once I get those I put my dream back on hold and go on with my regular life plan, not doing a damn thing about my deepest dream, because in so many (sick) ways I got what I felt I needed/wanted, and that is the recognition of being someone of importance. That feeling doesn’t last long and the dream has once again died and/or placed on the back burners… The other reason for not sharing in depths of my dreams is the negative, unsupportive feedbacks… My self-esteem isn’t all that strong, yet, and it’s difficult enough to get a dream off and running without those derogatory remarks.  


*edit, I began this post before I took my week-end trip out to the lake. Only forgot to post it … Go Figure, now I forget where I was trying to go with all of that, but after re-reading it I felt it was a great start and didn’t wish to lose it. So I am hesitantly posting as is…