Serenity HNT #12

Still finding it difficult to find the time to post what I truly wish to. For I do have some fantastic ideas stirring within my mind, but unfortunately they are all so time consuming... So for now here are a few HNT's of myself seeking serenity the best way I know how and that is just spending some alone time on my property.

Deep Thoughts, trying to let go of the entwined mental

twists within my own mind.

Spotted a few ducks (should have took a few pics of them).


And now finally the proof the mustache is gone, for those whom
may have been in disbelief.

What is this all about?

Click that blue guy to find out.

Votes are in

Alright so it is 9 - 0 that the mustache must go!!! Thank you for commenting and letting me know . Damn can you believe I had a mustache since I was 17 and never once shaved it off until just last summer. Can't get over the fact I was living in the wrong for so long, well anyways it didn't take me very long to take care of that problem, amazing much quicker to shave it off then it was to grow it back. Now do I need to show you it's gone or do you still need proof? Well if it is the later then you'll just have to wait since I spaced my camera off and left it in Jazmine (my jeep). So hopefully I'll find the time very soon to update my blog with a recent pic of my naked lip.

Hairlip of Not? HNT #11

Alright so the time has come, after a month of trying to grow back my mustache... I so need to know should I keep it of let it go?

Alright so here is the hairlip

and the one without

Personally it doesn't matter much either way to me.. For I only look at myself in the mirror a few times a day.... So this question is more for those whom have the honor of looking at me for much greater periods of time thoughout the day, and I am sure each one of them will be greatly appreciative with your paticipation in this poll.

Happy

Self Esteem

I was hoping to have found some time last weekend to make a post but once again time slipped away.... Damn weekends are way too short now a days... Any who, I am not sure if I had shared this or not but something I have found very disturbing and really haven't given much thought about until last Friday... While at work I was listening to a local radio station (one I had once worked for, not too long ago) 105.7 The Buzzard and about an hour into my shift they played this song.
Yes, you guessed it, it is "Self Esteem" from Offspring. Much like most songs I have memories that I tend to benchmark my life with, but that one in particular has a strong hold on me yet to this day. For when it was released, I was dating? Living with? Had a girl friend? Damn I don't know what the hell it was, except for it was a fucked up relationship nonetheless and that song nailed it right on the head.

I was so stuck in denial it wasn't even funny. Even when I listened to that song it was hitting home, but I didn't want to accept it. Was the sex that great?!?!? To be honest YES it was. I have to admit that she knew what she was doing and she was one of the best fucks of my life. Literally; physically, emotionally, mentally, and financially. She knew what she was doing and was not a fool.

It wasn't until her friend disclosed to me and opened my eyes to everything she was doing behind my back. Here I was thinking (yes, denial) that it was just me and my damn trust issues. Come to find out she had been working as an escort while I was out at work. Needless to say, once I found this out, her shit was out the door and I went directly to the doctors to get my self checked out for every flipping thing. To this day I thank God my results have come up clean.

Now here is a flip side of it all. Obviously many years have now passed since that time. Yet recently I ran into her father and we began to talk (once again God was looking over me). Apparently she is now doing time for killing her last boyfriend with a nine millimeter point blank range. Not just one shot either, according to her father she emptied the clip into this guy.

Well there you go, proof I sure know how to pick them.

Getting back into Life

Damn does time fly by when you are busy, I’ve been pulling 10 –12 hr work days this last week fortunately today is only an 8 and yes it’s TGIF. Even with my busy work week, I realized I so need a social life, so I’ve began to go back to meetings. I came across one that happens to start just as my shift ends. The only bad part is that it’s not in the best part of town, then again is there any meeting halls that are? Other then that the meetings have been just what I have been yearning. My spirit is once again beginning to be filled, and I now once again can hold my head up and look into other people’s eyes.

It’s amazing how easily I had forgotten how much I so need human contact. There was a time all I did was play games and met people on the computer. Yes, I was addicted to an online game and I did meet some fantastic people that I had began to truly love, but that time has come to an end. I found I so need more in my life, the actual human touch, looking into some ones eyes (without a cam).

Once again the time is getting away from me, and I am running late for work, but knew I needed to post something if not anything. Hopefully I’ll be able to find time this weekend to fill in the gaps of all the bullshit that has once again come into my life.